


Hammock Disaster

by MannerismOdd



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Artsy!Reader, Fluff, Gen, GenderNeutral!Reader, Mention of Depression and Suicide, mild language warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:17:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7998271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MannerismOdd/pseuds/MannerismOdd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elliot's friend has noticed that he's been feeling a bit down lately, so they invite him to come up with them to the woods to rest from the loud noise of New York.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hammock Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Elliot fic, so I apologize if he's a bit OOC :/

  
  


Elliot frowned at his computer, hit a few more keys, then he was in.

He may have promised to himself that he wouldn’t hack you. He may have promised that he would trust you enough to avoid looking through your things. But the anxiety was too much. Elliot was too paranoid.

Guilt gnawed at him as he checked your things. You had countless documents filled with words, drawings, and photographs. 

As he went through your things, his guilt grew even larger. Looking at your things, he realized that his paranoia was ungrounded. You were practically perfect, no history of negative things. 

And yet, he couldn’t stop looking. Your writing was phenomenal. Your drawings beautiful. Your photographs filled with color and light.

_ Stop, stop, stop. _

If you found out… you’d be so incredibly pissed. There was a significant chance that you would never talk to him ever again.

At this thought, Elliot slowly exited all of your things. Why couldn’t he trust a single person? Even the most real person in his life? Oh yeah. Because the last person he thought was real was just a hallucination of his dead father. The dead father that still haunted him throughout the days.

While Elliot had recently been finding you more and more appealing, he never saw the point in pursuing his attraction to you. With his luck, you’d only be out for yourself… you might be working with Evil Corp… or you might be like Shayla and -

_ Stop, stop, stop. _

Memories of Shayla’s death swirled through his mind, only in those incidents leading up to it, he replaced Shayla with you. The hallucinations stepped up their game as he saw even more violent ways you could die. 

_ Stop it, stop it, stop it. _

He pressed his hands against his head as the thoughts continued to intrude. 

_ Stop it, stop it, STOP IT! _

“Elliot?” came a questioning voice accompanied by a light touch on his shoulder.

Elliot recoiled from the touch and glanced up at the source of it.

You were staring at him, eyes filled with worry. 

“(Y-Y/N)...?” He gave you a blank look. Why were you looking at him with that expression? Was he screaming? Could you hear it from down that hall, where your apartment was located? 

“Are you okay?” you asked, pulling out a chair and taking a seat from across from him. “You were muttering and clutching at your head when I came in. I thought…” Your eyes widened slightly as you explored the possibility in your head. 

“Why’d you come here, (Y/N)?” He inquired in an emotionless voice. 

The expression on your face became even more concerned. “You  _ called _ me!” you exclaimed, panic coloring your voice. “I thought you were about to have a breakdown.” 

Judging from your face, you assumed that he’d had one before you’d gotten there. 

“(Y/N) would  be right, kiddo,” another voice said behind him.

Elliot tensed, blood running from his face. Slowly, he turned around to see Mr. Robot lounging casually on his couch. 

_ Damn it… I lost time again. Mr. Robot took over,  _ again _ … damn! _

“Elliot? Yoo-hoo! Earth to Elliot?” you asserted in a falsely positive voice, waving your hand in front of his vision.

Slowly, Elliot turned his gaze back to you. He could feel Mr. Robot’s gaze on the back of his neck, causing his shoulders to rise up in some way to hide himself.

Your fake smile waned. 

“Elliot? Sweetheart…”

_ Sweetheart, _ he noted silently.  _ You always address me as sweetheart or darling. _ That information wasn’t particularly useful to him at the moment, but he still filed it away for later. 

“... you seem like you’ve been a bit more  _ distracted _ of late, and I’ve been thinking… Nah, never mind.” You bit your lip and looked off into the distance. You seemed to be thinking. 

Elliot dropped his gaze to the table.

“Feeling a bit overwhelmed, son?” Mr. Robot asked, a smug tone in his voice. 

_ Why’s he so smug? _

“You could always ask for a little  _ favor _ from (Y/N). It would certainly take your mind off of whatever is bothering you now,” he continued unconcerned. 

“You know what?” Elliot muttered, quietly, so you couldn’t hear him. “Shut the hell up.”

“Elliot?”

He raised his head to see an even more uneasy you. He responded with a tired look. 

“Not you, I--” Elliot cut himself off. You didn’t need to know. 

“Okay.” You didn’t sound convinced. You shook your head, clearing your thoughts, a little habit that he found endearing. 

_ If only it were so easy for me… _

“Hey, I have an idea!” you said excitedly, unconsciously reaching out for his arm. Elliot pulled it back, not eager for the slight physical contact. 

He tilted his head, confused. “Y-you do?”

You nodded vigorously, a bright smile on your face. 

“Oh. Oh, no,” Elliot said as he realized what you were about to suggest. “Please don’t tell me this another one of your stupid art projects that will require leaving the comfort of home and hiking around in those woods you always go to.”

You stared at him, your expression telling him that he had hit it right on the mark. “Well, I mean,” you began, staring at the floor, blushing. 

“Oh, (Y/N),” Elliot groaned, pulling his black hood over his head as he hid his face in his arms. 

“It’s just up to the mountain, you don’t even have to come with! It’s all what you feel comfortable with doing.”

Elliot was nervous. It was ridiculous, but somehow you had ways to find out things he had done. What if you found out he was a hacker? Hell, what if you found out he hacked  _ you _ ?

_ Wait… _

Elliot snapped his head back up, frowning. 

_ Where’s my computer? _

The table was bare. The kitchen was empty. The entire apartment was sparse as ever. He wondered if you had moved it to his room or Mr. Robot put it back in his bag when he took him over. 

Still…

_ Where the hell is it? _

“Elliot?” you asked for the who-knows-how-many-time in the past ten minutes. 

He forced his gaze back to your concerned eyes.

“It’s nothing,” he said in a voice devoid of any emotion that would betray his true panic. 

The chair creaked as you sat back into it, eyes narrowed suspiciously. 

“Lies and slander, Elliot Alderson. Tell me - what are you looking for?”

“Nothing important.” Again - no feeling in his voice. 

There was a long silence. Elliot dropped his gaze from you, not wanting to see your frustration. You hated it whenever he kept things from you. Often were the conversations of it being okay to speak with you about things that worried him. And often were the false promises he gave you of being willing to talk about it. 

You sighed. “I’m not going to push it. As I said before, you can come up with me to the mountain.”

Elliot shifted awkwardly in his chair, staring at the table, with its scratches less dangerous than your vibrant, accusing eyes.

A soft chuckle came from your direction, followed closely by a loud screech from your chair.

He glanced up to see you making your way to the door. 

“(Y/N)…”

You turned around, still walking towards the door backwards. “Oh yeah, we also might be staying at the cabin. Gotta get those perfect sunrise reference pics.” You said all this with finger guns and a brilliant smile on your face, hiding the frustration he had given you. 

Your back hit the door. Slightly surprised, you turned back to the door. Another light giggle, then you opened the door. 

“I hope to get your answer soon!” you called over your shoulder. Then you were gone. 

“I don’t know why you like that flighty creature,” Mr. Robot muttered. “Look at how they just abandoned you.”

“Shut up,” Elliot hissed angrily.

 

***

 

Elliot bounced on the balls of his feet nervously as he waited outside your door. He just stood in the warmly lit hallway, trying to decide whether or not he should knock on your door, whether or not he should confirm that he would be going up with you. This was you. You wouldn’t be offended if he just decided to stay home. He’d done it often, making it much less surprising than the first time he had refused you. 

Debating, Elliot continued to simply stand in the hallway.

_ I should just leave. What would I even do if I went with you? Watch you take pictures? Make you uncomfortable as I continued to stare at you? _

The creak of a door snapped him out of his deliberation. 

His head popped up to see you exiting your apartment. 

You glanced up, saw him, and gave a surprised gasp. 

“Holy hell, Elliot!” you cried, clutching at your heart. “Don’t do that! You almost gave me a heart attack!”

Elliot remained silent, but leaned back a little, taking your disheveled appearance in. Your (H/C) locks were all over the place, telling him that you’d been running your hands through them. Dark circles ringed your tired eyes, making your skin look much paler. You wore a gray t-shirt over blue running shorts. On top of all that, you wore an oversized black hoodie. 

_ Hang on… _

“Is that my hoodie?” Elliot asked quietly. 

You blinked, glanced down at the hoodie, then back up at him. 

“Huh. It seems that way, doesn’t it?” you responded with an awkward laugh. “Yeah, I may have, uh,  _ borrowed _ it after that-” you coughed awkwardly - “er, rainstorm.” Your cheeks filled with the color that they so desperately needed. 

Unzipping it, you handed it over to him. “Here you go. Sorry for stealing it.”

Elliot received it quietly.

Yet another of the recurring awkward silences filled the space between the two of you. 

“Is that the, uh,  _ only _ reason you came here?” you asked. There was a hopeful undertone to your voice, filled with the possibility that he would agree to go with you. 

“N-no?” Elliot still hadn’t decided. 

Your eyes brightened. “You don’t sound so certain, Alderson,” you chuckled. You opened your front door a little wider. “Come on in. You can figure out whether or not your hoodie was your only reason for visiting.” You beckoned him before turning around, walking deeper into the apartment.

He followed you into the apartment. 

As always, Elliot was a little startled by how full of life you apartment was. It was like… like it wasn’t just a place to sleep, to avoid people, to get cleaned up for another day at work. Like it held purpose for other things than another place to go back to after work. It was filled with your vibrant personality. Color-filled photographs rested on the wall. Down the hall, he could see your living room, a coffee table engraved with roses and vines sitting in the middle, a plain gray couch. It was much more comfortable for him here. Every room was neat, everything had a place.

Except for your work room.

Elliot could see that you forgot to close the door leading into the messy room before you’d decided to leave the flat. 

He glanced back at the owner of the room. You were making your way into the kitchen.

“Hey, Alderson!” you called over your shoulder. “Is tea okay?”

“Sure.”  _ It’s not like I’ll actually end up drinking it anyway. _

Making sure you was still fully occupied in the kitchen, Elliot lightly pushed to door completely open and entered.

There was something about this room that was oddly pleasing compared to the rest of the apartment. Maybe it was the contrast between the sprawl of your work in here to the neat, put-togetherness of the rooms outside. Maybe it was the unbarred piece of your soul apparent in every piece of art and writing that you would normally keep hidden.

Elliot looked at your sketches pinned to your walls. He felt a smile work its way onto his face as he looked at your old projects, all beautiful, all full of life, just like their creator. It almost made him forget all the crap going on in his life. 

Turning his gaze onto your primary work table, Elliot saw all your new projects sprawled over it. A portfolio was leaning against a leg of the table. It was apparent that you had taken a couple of unfinished drawings from it. 

What Elliot saw stopped him in his tracks. They were drawings of torment. Countless dead people, demons, flames, and gory images filled the papers. Elliot sat down and began to slowly filter through them. They were full of depression and anxiety, the things you apparently fought so hard to hide from the rest of the world.

_ Even in your seemingly protected digital footprint, you kept things from being seen, you hid everything _ , came the unbidden thought.

Suddenly, Elliot noticed that the picture now in his hand was the only one that wasn’t sad or scary. 

It was a sketch of him.

Sure, it was messy by your standards, but it was still startlingly good. Every line was drawn with a wistful air, as if you… cared… about… him…

Elliot’s breath got caught in his throat as I realized you liked him.

_ How could I have missed it? _ All the invitations to your apartment, the times you would come over if he seemed slightly distressed, hell, even the invitation to the mountain.

Yet all this time, you kept a comfortable distance. You didn’t force yourself through his boundaries. You respected his no physical contact rule. To be honest, you probably thought your love was unrequited.

Elliot snorted. What a ridiculous predicament he found himself in. It sounded like a damn romantic comedy, hilariously out of place in his already screwed up life. Honestly, what did he have to offer you? His hallucinations? His hacking? His withdrawals?

There was no point in reciprocating your feelings.

“Hey, Elliot!” you called.

Elliot jumped, terrified that you had seen him in your haven. A quick glance at the doorway confirmed that you was still in the kitchen.

“Uh, y-yeah?” Elliot called back.

“The tea’s done!”

Relief surged through him. Elliot had thought for a brief second that through some telepathic ability, you had found out that he had been looking through your things.

He quietly stood up and made his way to the door, carefully pulling it closed behind him.

You were found in the living room, placing mismatched mugs on the coffee table. You hair was now swept up in a neater style, although random strands escaped and brushed your cheeks.

As a blush formed on his cheeks, Elliot cursed my emotional response. It was just you. It was just the person that had accidentally spilled lukewarm coffee all over him on the street. It was just the person who had met him on the street once again, embarrassed as your old dog and Flipper began humping each other. It was just the person who’d had a breakdown after that old dog had to be put down.

So why was he now doing ridiculous things like blushing or going to you for help? Why not Angela or Darlene?

“So… did you end up figuring out why you’re here?” you asked with a false lightness. 

How had Elliot never noticed your insecurity before?

“I’ll go up with you,” he muttered into his mug as he went in for a sip of the awful concoction. Elliot much more of a black coffee type of person, as opposed to you, who was very much of a green tea type of person.

You froze mid-sip, staring back at him with wide eyes. “You  _ will _ ?” you spluttered incredulously.

_ Oh shit. Did I say something wrong? _

Apparently his panic showed on his face, because you began to frantically explain your reaction.

“I-it’s just… you always chose to stay home whenever I invite you anywhere. Especially whenever I go out of town.” You punctuated this with a nervous laugh. “I mean, it’s not like I’m arguing. It’s just a bit of a surprise.” A soft smile spread slowly over your face. “A nice surprise.”

_ Yeah, it’s a surprise for me too. _

Elliot gave you a small smile, which caused yours to grow even bigger and brighter.

“Right on! I had better see you here Friday night,” you said brightly.

Elliot’s smile grew at your happy attitude, despite knowing how you actually felt.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I’ll be there.”

 

***

 

“Was there anything special that spurred this random trip on this Friday night?” Elliot asked as he walked up with you to the cabin.

You looked at him through the corner of your eye. “No. Just completely random, like you said.” You didn’t sound convincing.

_ Don’t push it, _ Elliot warned himself. “Right,” is what he said out loud. 

You gave a small, humorless chuckle. “Anyway, I’ve set up a temporary rest place in the living room, if you want it. I mean, there’s a hammock I could set up, but I get the feeling that you just want to get to bed.”

To be honest, he wasn’t feeling ready to rest. he wasn’t emotionally prepared for his nightmares, but he wasn’t going to let you know that. He didn’t want you to feel bad for inviting him.

“Yeah, it’s perfectly fine.”

Once the two of you were inside, you drifted off to another room to sleep on the couch in there. Apparently, despite this being a family cabin, most of the time your family didn’t sleep on beds. You informed Elliot that they would often sleep in sleeping bags or in the aforementioned hammock. They did, however, have an alarming amount of couches in such a small space.

As he lay down, his thoughts got louder. 

_ Why did I ever agree to this? _ The woods were spookily silent compared to the noisy city. Hell, even Mr. Robot hadn’t shown up since they had left. Elliot knew that this fact could be considered a good thing, but most of his brief respites ended poorly. Mr. Robot would always return, even worse than before.

However, being around you would always make him feel better. It took a while until he had realized it, but it was still nice. 

Slowly, Elliot drifted off to sleep

 

***

 

The next night, Elliot went outside to try to find you. You’d been out all day, taking your reference pictures, only returning for lunch and to set up the hammock before setting off for another hike filled with photographs. Honestly, he didn’t know why you decided to take pictures of things yourself when you could just look up these things online. Sure, one could hack you and find out what you were looking at, but it’s not like a hacker would be shocked by the things you were looking up.

And, as Elliot loathed to admit it, he missed you. 

He tried to avoid all human contact. He knew that everyone leaves eventually. His dad left (although, Elliot supposed, he came back as Mr. Robot), his mom left, Shayla left…

Everyone leaves.

So why was he getting so worked up over you being gone for a day?

Maybe it was because Elliot didn’t have his computer with him. He don’t know why he had decided to leave it at home. You were just so excited to get going. Elliot may have forgotten it in the hustle to get to the car.

_ Sloppy, sloppy… _

Elliot glanced at the hammock outside, strung up between two trees. A small, child-like part of him desperately wanted to try it out. He had never been on a hammock in his entire life.

_ Maybe _ …

Elliot could practically hear your joyful voice saying,  _ Go ahead, Elliot. Live your childhood, even if it it for just one day. _

He pursed his lips as he came to the decision to try it out.

Climbing into the hammock was a lot more difficult than Elliot assumed it would be. From a distance, hell, even close up, it didn’t look too far off the ground. However, now that he was trying to get in, it was, in all honesty, tricky. If he were to just jump into it, there was a possibility that it would swing wildly, throwing him to the ground. If he slowly climbed in, the shifting cloth could, once again, flip him out onto the ground, only this time in slow motion. 

Elliot finally managed to get onto the hammock successfully, after a couple of tries. He felt a little ridiculous, laying there, suspended between two trees. There was a small hope that you would come back and join him in the hammock. You wouldn’t, of course. You were much too aware of his boundaries.

For the first time, Elliot wished that you wouldn’t be so respectful of that.

“Well, well, well,” came a lilting voice to his right. 

Elliot turned his head slightly to see a smiling you, eyes sparkling. Your camera was swaying slightly from a strap around you neck, your hair pushed back from you face so you could see, clothes muddy from what Elliot presumed was you tripping and falling.

You chuckled at him. “I never expected to see Elliot Alderson in a hammock.” You drifted closer, your bright smile softening to a small, happy one. “I also never expected to see you come out of New York.”

“Yes, well…” Elliot trailed off. He realized that he hadn’t even thought about the end of that sentence.

As always, Elliot obliterated the comfortable banter you had created with his blundering awkwardness.

After a while, you finally spoke up. “Well, I’m going to go shower. I was a little clumsy… As you can probably see.” You gestured to your mud-splattered front. You flashed him a smile, then made your way back to the cabin.

After that, Elliot just laid in the hammock, staring at the sky.  The sun was beginning to set, casting gold light over the clouds and causing the sky to turn a deep pink and orange. He felt a smile work its way onto his mouth as he thought about what you would do if you saw the sky right now. You would probably gasp happily, then run to the cabin to grab your camera. Then you would take countless pictures for ‘reference’. 

After seeing the pictures in your work room, Elliot was beginning to think that you took these pictures to prove there was beauty in the world… to prove you were good enough to stay in this world.

The sound of light footsteps disrupted his thoughts.

“Hey (Y/N),” Elliot murmured softly.

“Oh, damn, I wasn’t trying to distract you. I thought you were asleep!” you exclaimed.

Elliot twisted his head to look at you. Your hair was still a little wet from your shower, but you still looked radiant.

He chuckled. “No, it’s okay.” 

Silence followed. 

“Is… Is it okay if I joined you?” you asked hesitantly.

Elliot blinked in surprise at the question. “Of course. O-on the hammock?”

“No, no… you can keep on having that to yourself. I’m content with just laying on the ground.”

Elliot gave you a brief nod to acknowledge your statement. 

You laid down on the ground, eyes staring up into the sky, luminous and full of wonder.

You both laid like that until the sun was completely down and stars began to appear.

Now, living in New York City causes you to live without seeing too many stars. The light pollution blocked all of those things out. But out here…

“ _ Holy shit _ ,” Elliot muttered, pushing himself up, stomach dropping out from under him as the hammock swayed dangerously.

You chuckled. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Elliot nodded, staring at the sky, his jaw hanging low. His eyes flicked to you, who was know kneeling, eyes fixed on the heavens.

“(Y/N)…”

“Hmm?” you responded, seemingly finding it difficult to rip your eyes from the stars.

Elliot smiled slightly at you. Of course the artist in you would find it difficult to look away from something so beautiful. Hell, he wasn’t even an artist and  _ he  _ was finding it difficult to look away from you.

Elliot finally voiced the questions that had been bothering him since you asked him to join you. “Would you tell me the real reason you came up here? Why you invited me?” 

You finally tore her gaze from the sky to meet his eyes. A soft blush covered your cheeks. “I…” You paused, thinking of your answer. “Okay, I’ll tell you. I always come up here whenever I’m feeling a bit stressed, or a bit down, or -” you took a deep breath - “or whenever I feel close to committing suicide.” Your words were a bit rushed. “I-i came here after my mom died and I felt like,” you took a moment, choosing your words, “ _ joining _ her. It helps me relax. It helps me see the beauty of things in life. It’s silly, but I thought that it might help you a bit.”

Elliot felt oddly touched by your gesture. Most people overlooked him, just another guy in a black hoodie, another guy in the crowd. But you could tell that he was going through something rough.

He looked down, looked at the rocks and the ants and the leaves. “Thank you,” Elliot said softly. Hearing your confession spurred a boldness within him. “Hey, (Y/N)… You look a bit uncomfortable down there, so I was wondering if you’d want to come up here… with me?” Elliot cringed at how awkwardly he phrased my question.

You blinked. “I… are you sure? I won’t be invading your personal space?”

“(Y/N), seriously, I’m inviting you up here. Do you think I would feel like you’re violating the personal space rule if I asked you to?”

A soft blush painted your cheeks. Awkwardly, you pulled yourself onto the hammock with him.

Feeling bold, Elliot put his arms around you. You tensed briefly, as if you were alarmed that he was allowing so much physical contact with you. However, you relaxed into his chest.

“Thank you,” Elliot murmured into your hair. 

You glanced up at him, grinning. “Hey, no problem,” you said with a note of laughter in your voice. “Enjoying the taste of my hair in your mouth?”

A small smile, the one that was coming back more and more frequently around you, wormed its way onto his mouth, once again. 

Elliot moved down to kiss you, but, somehow, his movement caused the entire hammock to flip over, throwing the both of you off. For a moment, you were suspended in air before gravity pulled you down to the ground.

“ _ Oof! _ ” 

“ _ Kuh! _ ”

The two of you tried to get your breath back as you lay there on the ground. 

“Y’know,” you wheezed, “I think this may have been my best visit up here yet!”

Elliot glanced at you through the side of his eye, an idea forming.

“Do you know what I think?” Elliot asked softly.

You turned to face him, cheeks red. “No…?”

He pulled you close to him. “I think that I love you.” 

Hugging you, Elliot gave you a long, wonderful kiss.


End file.
